I’m dancing with anxiety. I’m preparing to try to do something outrageous. When I picture myself trying this new idea my brain just throws images of other barista who are far more qualified to do this than I am. I picture them scoffing me. I hear them saying, “That is the most pretentious thing I’ve ever heard. Dave has never been good enough to make that coffee worth paying for.
I wonder if I’m not good enough yet. I wonder if I’m being pretentious.
I kind of come from a louder ball busting sort of family and have worked for years to be kinder to people. To be more humble. I could have worked harder than I have and hopefully I work harder in the future.
So my dance is to accept that I may not be good enough yet. It may be pretence that pushes me on this. It’s more of an idea that sprang out of a conversation with a barista that I so deeply respect. (someday I’ll write about why I no longer get coffee from them.)
But I hope that I can become good enough. I hope that I’m creating something meaningful for people who are not paid much attention. I hope that I can work hard enough to give this idea a solid chance. I hope that if this idea proves to actualy be foolhardy that I can gracefully accept defeat. If it doesn’t work, I hope it won’t be because I was too lazy or too arrogant. I hope that I help everyone in the industry not hurt anyone in the industry as I try to see if this wild idea has a place in our coffee world.
I really want it to work. I completely understand that it may not.
This is my dance.
Sans Milk 